Amorous, Ameera Butt [reading women txt] 📗

/> “No, he looks normal, he has a different style but he is normal Sasha.”
“Shut up, you don’t understand, trust me. He even lives near me, a couple roads down. I see him all the time!”
“Why are we even talking about him Sasha?” I asked perplexed.
“Just telling you, stay away from him. Your safety!”
“Ha! He isn’t going to do anything to me; beside I don’t even know him! Why is everyone showing my boy’s today? It’s all very confusing!”
Sasha made a laughing sound! As I gave her the evil look. “EVIL!” She yelled out and everyone around us looked straight at me.

I walked ahead looking back at the guy she was so negative about; I didn’t see anything bad in him. In fact I saw sadness in him, even though he was surrounded by a lot of people who were laughing like maniacs. He didn’t seem happy. When I fully saw his face I realised he was the one I actually bumped into earlier today! A strong wind whooshed across me so heavily, as it went through my long silky black hair alongside whooshing through his hair. I suppose he was very cute, but I couldn’t possibly think of him in any way. I still had Seldon in my mind, which I needed to take out. As I walked towards the gate to exit the school he looked towards my side and I gave him a big smile. He looked back replying with a smile. “STOP!” I yelled to Sasha.
“What happened?” she asked confused/
I thought for a while, should I even tell her. She was so negative about him a while ago. “Nothing.” I said. “I thought I forgot something, but I have it with me still.” I continued saying. We walked out of school and after a few seconds Sasha’s phone rang.

“Hello?” she answered the call. She gave me a look and then answered on the phone. “Yes, everything is okay now. No nothing to worry about, ya-huh. Okay bye.”
“Who was that?” I asked interested.
“No one really. Just someone random.” she told me hesitating.
“Who was it? Tell me!”
“Well, it was your mum.”
“My mother had your number, why?”
“Yes well, it’s a little complicated to explain to someone like you.” she tried to express.
“Well say it in not a complicated way, genius.” I said angrily.
“Well, she rang to ask if you were okay. That’s all.”
“She could have rang me to ask as well.”
“Well, maybe it was better if she talked to me… and asks what’s…” she stopped talking.
“Asked what?” I was curious to know.
“Well, ask why you were in such a misery.”
“My misery! Ha, MISERY! I told her that I was fine and that I missed college that’s why I wasn’t in the mood during the holidays and that I didn’t feel well. I thought she believed me. I thought she trusted me then.”
“Ameesha, she was just caring for you.” Sasha said trying to be supportive.
“NO! You know how I am with my family. I would never tell them any problems, they will never understand. All I can give them is my love. I can only share love. I can’t give or share anything else.”
“Well, you share your stuff with us and it’s…”
“It’s because you know me too well.” I overtook her. I took a deep breath and she stood in silence. “She should have believed me when I told her something, instead of being so inquisitive.” I continued speaking.
“Ameesha, your mother has rights to know.”
“Know! Know what? She doesn’t understand. Her mind is set on specific stuff Sasha.”
“Know about what you’re going through right now…” she suggested.
“I’m in pain Sasha, but I do want to still live you know. I’m from a typical family Sasha, you need to understand that. I love my family, but I love my friends more! That’s the reason I tell you everything. I can expect a reply from you people that would help me. Not pathetic lectures. Since a child till now the family was never understandable. But I still gave love.”
“Don’t love your friends that much Ameesha, we won’t be able to go away from you then!”
“That’s fine; I don’t want you to go away from me anyways.” I joked laughing towards her. We started walking fast now, it was getting pretty late.

Sasha lives half way from where I lived. After she had gone I was walking home alone think about what I had just found out. Was it harsh not to tell my family about my life? My actual thoughts. My pain. They had never known the real me, sometimes I assumed that I had a split personality, the thought always made me laugh but in all seriousness I did imagine that. As I reach to my front door I took a deep breath and rang the bell. I waited there patiently for a few seconds waiting for someone to open the door. I could hear foot steps walking towards the door as they had got louder and louder the closer the person came. As the door opened I saw my sister Sarah there. I gave her a smile and walked through the entrance, I could see the steam from the cooking in the kitchen ahead of me. Usually I would go to the kitchen first to greet everyone, however today wasn’t the best day I believed.

As I walked up the first few steps of the stairs my mum yelled out from the kitchen, “Ameesha, come here.” I walked back down the few steps and walked into the kitchen to her. “How was your first day back?” she asked wondering.
“Fine.” I spoke back not enthusiastically
“Did anything exciting dear?”
“Nope, just met my friends and stuff.” I said not being energetic.
“Something wrong?”
“Nope every this is perf…” at that moment I stopped for few seconds wondering if I should actually say yes something is wrong. But then my mind came to one place explaining how they would never understand. My dad, mum and Cody were starring deeply at me as I continued to say “perfect. Everything is perfect.” I walked of taking deep breathes.

I reach finally to the top the stairs and ran into my room, I threw my bag to the side against my big cupboard, flipping my shoes of and lay straight on my bed. Everything seemed so quiet for several minutes. I found the silence quite awkward so I had to break this random tension. I switched my computer on in seconds and waited for it to load. I seemed so impatient. Finally my old rotten computer loaded and I blasted the music on loud. I had to put my favorite singer on; it took time to decide who my favorite was. Since I couldn’t choose I just picked a random song. It was a song that told about transformation and how a person can transform another person. Whilst the four minute song played I had thoughts. Transformation? It felt like the songs was focusing on me. Maybe it was messaging I should changed how I am now to another me. A better Ameesha, the energetic, happy, dramatic, talkative, loud and the one who always had a cheeky smile on her face. Next song was my most favorite song by one of my favorite singers. I adored that singer and I adored his songs more. I think the song symbolised that perhaps I need to wish for someone or something better than Seldon. I do need to show the world who I actually am. How I actually am.

I logged online to see if anyone interesting was online to talk. Everyone was online; I just couldn’t be bothered to talk to anyone. As soon as I was about to log of Ella messaged me saying hello. At first I was just going to ignore it, but then I had second thoughts and built up the conversation. Later Sally came online and Shay was already on, I was just ignoring her. Her conversations were always about one thing which was not even relevant to me. About twenty minutes later Stacy came online. She always pops on for a few minutes, but today she stayed on for quite some time. I had caught up with everyone I hadn’t talked to during the holidays. As I never went on my computer. I was asked bazillion questions I just used my charm and changed the topics. I was listening to songs after some time as well; after my Ipod battery ran out I didn’t listen to music.

It was about six o’clock and since I hadn’t slept for past two days properly I decided to head to bed really early. I couldn’t stop yawning, around six thirty I turned of my computer and opened my bed to sleep, yet I couldn’t seem to fall asleep. My arm randomly started hurting, I would wonder why. I didn’t even hurt it nor did anything to it, except the time when that boy banged into me but would that really affect me. A thought kept coming into my mind later then. The pain that I saw in that boy’s eye today. Was that actual pain, or was it just my mind thinking of random stuff again. I kept questioning myself, why am I even thinking about him. I don’t even know him. What did I want friendship or something? Was there a part of me that wanted to know him? It was just peculiar.

Eventually my eyes started shutting and opening, I knew now I would be falling asleep hopefully. Tomorrow was another day of college, I had no energy to move about as soon as my head touch the pillow for the second time I fell asleep in seconds. I couldn’t be worrying about what my family wanted me to say to them. I can’t open to them in a way. I think I can share happiness with them, but when it comes to friends I can share my happiness and sadness. But if I think about it really I had never had much sadness. Well even if I did, I didn’t really mention them unless they were so obvious. But all my friends eventually realised something was wrong, I just couldn’t hide from them as much as I could hide from my family and myself. I did love them both though, perhaps not equally but I loved them for who they were and are. The light in my room started fading away now I realised now is the actual time to go to sleep. I shut my eyes and next thing I knew was I was fast asleep.

Football

It was late October now. It had started to become a little colder and darker around. Leaving autumn, entering winter towards the end of October, I felt a little glad to be honest. I liked to be around the cold