Amorous, Ameera Butt [reading women txt] 📗

It’s quite hard to move on in life when there’s so much your leaving behind trying to move on. When a passage in life shuts down completely you can only assume how depressing life could be, but is that the conclusion to it? It apparently didn’t happen to me. Yes me, Ameesha Grint! The heat in the summer would burn my skin; the cold in the winter would freeze it, although the perfect sunny summer is everyone’s cup of tea it wasn't mine. I always had a sort of love for the winter. The cool breeze would keep the smile going.

I lived in a family of two siblings, twenty three years old Sarah and twenty one years old Cody. I have been the youngest in all, seventeen years old. I had just turned seventeen a day ago 4th September. All my life I loved my family and I lived for them. I had self comforted myself around them, it felt safe and it felt homely. But what I was going through, not even love could come and explain the feeling. No pain could do a presentation on it. No heartbeat could demonstrate in its beats. It felt like a thousand knives had stabbed my heart at once and I had no escape to save myself.

That wasn't the only thing that I was moving away from, as a college girl I was moving forward from first year to second year, a young adult. Yes I was doing my course as a second year in college. All I was meant to worry about was my exams, but how could I, if I was surrounded by pain. 5th September 2010. New start of college... I had always loved my college, even when i was in school i loved school; I would never miss it for anything. Now I just wanted to stay at home, in my bed. I just wanted to be trapped into my duvet, covered up, never to be seen by anyone, never to be heard by anyone, never to speak to anyone. But I think that would have been impossible as I had the most idiotic people in my life that wouldn’t let go of me; they held me up in every moment of life. My friends! They knew what I was going through in this time of my life, well they weren't hundred percent sure on how I felt, but they knew something was wrong. They knew me too well. Every friend knew what I needed, what I wanted! It was simplified that if you didn’t know me you could never possibly be a true friend. I was the girl who fit in with anyone and everyone!

Just when I was about to shut my eyes my phone rang. I didn’t have the energy to literally reach out for my phone on the side of my pillow, so I let it ring and didn’t answer it. The ring tone kept going as I shut my eyes and lay there in pain waiting patiently for the ring tone to finish, I turned and watched the light of my phone reflecting on me and I read the name on my phone. Sally.

I finally released energy out of me and reached out for my phone, clicking the green button to answer. There was so much background noise coming to me. I couldn’t hear exactly who was talking. It didn’t sound like Sally. "AMEESHA!" someone roared on the phone. It was very vivid. I couldn’t seem to open my mouth and answer back; I was too involved in thinking who was on the other side of the phone. The person yelled out again screaming "Ameesha! Where are you?" everything seemed to come alive to me now. It was Sally, I suppose I didn’t realise it was her because I hadn’t heard from her in a long time, especially during the summer holidays. "Ameesha!" she sang my name out. Usually when she did that I would give a weird smile, but nothing appeared on my face, it was like my face was stuck in one position.

I finally got something coming out of me and I whispered out "yes?"
"Ameesha! Where are you?" she questioned me.
I couldn’t respond back well, I hesitated? "I-I"
"Are you still in bed?" she overtook me. "Come on lazy girl, wake up we got welcome back assembly in about fifteen minutes!" she demanded. Sally was one of my best friends. I had so many close friends, I could never choose between who was my best. Since I use to always be with Sally I just established that she was my best friend a long side with Sasha. I also had Ella, although she was more of a little sister, because she wasn’t my age or in my year, she was a year lower. "AMEESHA! WAKE UP!" Sally distracted me.
"I’ll be there." I finally was able to get out of my mouth. I shut the phone on her, and turned to my right to stretch out. It was pretty dark in my room, my mum had just changed the curtains this month, and my uncle had just finished painting my room in black. They weren't really satisfied with the colour, but they just went a long with my decision. It was a little odd though, my decision were never taken in count.

After a ten second silence, I pulled the duvet off me and pulled myself up. Even though I wasn’t sleepy I gave a little yawn and grabbed a hair band from my side table and tied my hair into a bun. I pushed myself of the bed and walked towards my big brown cupboard and pulled out my ironed clothes. Whilst walking to my shut door I moved a section of broken wood to the side, and attempted to open my door. It was stiff and wouldn’t open, I twisted and turned the handle to try to open it yet I kept failing. After a few attempts I realised that I had locked the door last time I had entered my room, then I figured that I was lying in my bed for two whole days. After I had unlocked my door I walked out of my room, it was more of a drag more than walk. Eventually when I reached the bathroom, I quickly rinsed my face and brushed my teeth. I was different now I guess; I use to wake up early every morning to get ready, and would spend a long time just doing my hair. I would always hear my mum complaining sitting downstairs and shouting about how I would always be late. Today I just spent five minutes in the bath. I silently walked past my mum and dads room, as they snored away. I quickly dressed into my clothes for collegge and grabbing my bag I left my house to go to college. New start of collegee, everyone excited. Everyone except me.

"DO YOU WANT A LIFT TO COLLEGE!" my brother Cody shouted out from the house, looking out of the window. "You’ve only got about six minutes until college starts."
I exhaled out and replied saying, "Yes please." he ran down the stairs I could hear his heavy steps and he opened the door wide. His fashion style was very unusual. Cody was wearing grey colour tracksuits with a black and red hoody and a yellow top underneath, even though I couldn’t see much of the top. I was tempted to laugh, but I couldn’t find my energy still. We sat in his car and he drove off, he was a risky driver, he had obsession in driving fast!

I reached college exactly two minutes before the gates shut. When I entered the second old grey rusty gates, I saw Sally standing there. Tall, skinny but chubby with long silky straight hair that had shades of brown. She stood there holding a brown folder with a red sports kit. I assumed that we had sports but since I had missed my options appointment I really didn’t know if I had sports or not. I walked towards her not looking left or right. After a few steps I looked closely and with her was standing Sasha and Shay. Sasha was taller than Sally and skinnier, with shoulder length wavy silky dark hair and light brown eyes. When I looked towards Shay I really didn't want to go to them, I felt like turning around and facing to someone else. I never hated Shay, in fact I’ve never hated anyone but there was something about her that irritated me, she always thought a lot of herself. No one really liked her; she was actually an extra in our friendship group.

"Ameesha!" Sally called out and from behind her two heads pop out to see me. Stacy and Abbey. Stacy was taller than Abbey and she had curly hair whereas Stacy’s was just straight, it use to frighten me how her hair could be that straight! I had no problem with them they were good friends, I could say close mates even though Stacy was my best friend. She had found Abbey now and it didn’t really affect me because I had Sally. Sally ran towards me and gave me the biggest hug ever! "Hey girl, how you been? You got to college early." she said playfully and sarcastically. How out of the blue! I was always the sarcasm one. I didn’t reply I just gave her a smile, hoping she understood me. Effectively she did, she knew some parts of how my life was going. She knew my thoughts on love; she knew that if I was hurt it would take centuries for me to be healed. She smiled at me and dragged me to the others.

"Hey Ameesha!" everyone shrieked out in excitement. I smiled back forcefully. Stacy could tell straight away that something was wrong. I had an emotional connection with her, sure Sally was my best friend but Stacy had more of an understanding. Sally was my fun side I could say.
"Come on assembly time!" Abbey ordered. She held onto Sally and Sasha and dragged them into the assembly hall. Stacy linked with my arm and Shay walked in behind us. The hall was full of students, everyone chattering away. The smile on every teachers face was quite confusing. They seemed happy, yet tired. It was like they thought their lives are ruined. Ha! Ruined, should ask me about that. I don’t even have a reason to live for, my life seemed so pathetic.

The voices started fading away to the back of my mind, as I focused on one thing ‘Seldon’ a rare, a valuable. I loved a rare and valuable person; he was the valuable thing in my life. When I always looked in his eyes, I had always seen brightness, a light. Funny how everything turned into darkness now. His scent would make the atmosphere fresh. His eyes would shine a light and his smile, well that would always put a smile on my face however; his smile would give me strength to live in life. He was perfect; I would look at him and wished he would always be mine. I would have literally tagged him under my name. It hurt knowing that he was not mine, that he was actually now someone else’s. I felt like a sickness had just occurred, it felt like I was swelling up from the inside. It’s like I needed a whole a lot of medication to realise what I use to have that I don’t have anymore. But if it took my life