Amorous, Ameera Butt [reading women txt] 📗

get rid of him from my mind. Yes, he would always be in my heart, but he needed to go out of my mind. As I made my decision I walked to my next lesson. Drama.

God drama! I was a very filmy person before I had changed. I was overloaded with dramatises, I knew that for sure and my friends knew more about how much I loved my drama. Today was the first lesson of drama and I couldn’t put my mind to it. It wasn’t depression that I had it was more of an unsure mind, a sort of awareness. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t panic but my mind was going to implode thinking about it!
“Ameesha are you alright there?” My drama teacher asked. Mrs. Jane was an awesome teacher I had her when I was in my first year when i was studying lower level in college. I always wished I had her every year, but unfortunately I never got her every year. This year was probably lucky as I had finally got her again as my drama teacher. Lucky? Is this a sign or is this a game? I wasn't aware of it. I look up at her and replied in a low and soft voice “yes Mrs I’m fine.” as she carried on the lesson I waited for time to go pass so I can leave the lesson and see Sally.

As the bell rang I gripped onto my bag and ran down the stairs, coming out to go to Sally as I bumped into someone. I really didn’t know who this person was; I presume there was a random connection. But I didn’t know him. He gave me a smile as I walked along him and I was in a rush to smile back. I had never seen him before; again I had thought he might have been new to college perhaps. As I walked forward I saw Shay walking towards me. I would of change my direction but I was to busy thinking about what had just happened. I mean there was nothing to think about, I’ve bumped into so many people so many times, so why was I even thinking? Shay was trying to grab my attention but she kept failing, so she started talking about a movie. It was my favourite everyone knew that. Evidently my favorite actor was in the specific movie and the best thing about it was that it wasn’t just one movie it had so many series to it. I had read every book; watch all up to date movies. There was a new part that was coming out next year me and Stacy were so excited, but I assume since I’ve ‘change’ the excitement faded away. I think my awareness started coming back. I had changed a little too much I needed to come back to who I was. Perhaps now I kind of understand what Sasha was trying to say.

I looked at Shay and started walking backwards and she kept walking forward thinking I was right behind her. I ran back past the old buildings and round the corner to find Sasha.
“AMEESHA!” someone had yelled my name, so I turned to see who it was. It was Stacy and she was standing close to Abbey. I just gave them a quick wave and started moving ahead as Stacy screamed out again, “Come here I need to show you something!”
I looked and sighed and started walking towards them. “What is it?” she pulled me toward the wall and pointed towards the door.
“Look there!”
“What exactly am I suppose to see?” I asked puzzled.
“See him there, he’s so cute!” Abbey said cheerfully.
I gave her a look and turned to see him again, I couldn’t see him properly he was surrounded by people, but I pretended that I saw him and said “Oh that’s nice, okay I have to go and find Sasha. Bye!” I ran of without getting a response and went looking for Sasha. “Where could this girl possibly be?” I asked myself. Oh how could I forget? “Canteen!” I reminded myself. I joked to myself thinking that now I was aware of a memory loss as I smiled on the thought.

As I walked towards the college canteen a whole bunch of the younger year walked pass me, they were running around and I could imagine when I was in their places running around with my idiots! Soon after I got a vision of when me and Seldon use to play catch, he always seem to catch me faster than I caught him. He was that fast. Perhaps if I tried to let go of him in my mind he might go in the same speed he use to catch me in the games. In a flash of sound of the bell I came out of my vision and saw Sasha walking out of the canteen still stuffing her face! I nodded to myself and walked towards her and started laughing. I grabbed a tissue from her side pocket and wiped a bit of sauce that was on the side of her lip. Silly girl she was! I walked her to her lesson silently I wanted to say stuff to her. Say to her what now I was aware of, but her class was too near for me to start a conversation, it going to be too long. We finally reached her classroom and she said, “Wait for me after school.” as she rushed into her class she turned back and gave me a wink as I grinned to her.

On my way to my lesson, I bumped into Ella; I hadn’t seen her in such a long time. Even on the last day of school last year I didn’t see her.
“Hello Ella, you okay?” I went and asked.
“Oh hello, I didn’t even notice you here. I’m good what about you?”
“Ha, I’m all good and its okay, you were probably day dreaming as usual!” I replied laughing.
“Ha, possibly Ameesha. I’ll talk to you when I go home; I have to go to my lesson now. I really don’t want to go; I will never survive with this class and OH GOSH! This teacher will literally kill me!”
“Ha! Who do you have, Hitler?” .
“You can put it that way Ameesha.” she replied in seriousness.
“Sympathy just for you gorgeous.” I said sympathetically. She gave an evil look inside through the door window and walked in.

Ella was a person I gave a lot of attention to. It’s probably because she was the younger one. As I accepted her as my sister, I felt the need to protect her and to always be there just for her. Didn’t matter how hurt I was, but I would always keep a smile just for her. We were too attached to each other. She always jokes saying we should just get super glue and glue ourselves together. That silly muffin. I walked of with a little laugh to my next lesson. I was aware that now we all have double lessons for some subjects. Oh my, French next. You can’t be serious; the teacher always gives me a head ache. She’s very nice and all, but when she shouts I can’t bare her voice. At times I think how do I get strength to tolerate the voice! Well if I had strength to control her I could possibly have the strength to control the distance from Seldon. Oh god, I was still on about him. I should have stopped saying his name a long time ago. I was aware that his name ran around my mind all the time. As I entered the class room my French teacher gave a ridiculous look, so I just went and sat down to the nearest table, thank god Abbey and Stacy were in the same lesson!
“Bonjour Ameesha!” Mrs. Waller said in joy.
“Bonjour Madam Waller.” I guessed and said. In the past years of taking French, my French was really good; I just didn’t like speaking it with her. One mistake and she would start. Stupid negativity!
“Comment ca va?”
“Je vais bein.” I replied curious was I meant to ask how she was or just sit down quietly. Eventually I asked “Et toi?”
“Ca va tres bien merci!” she replied in a cheering mood.

I took a deep breath and relaxed as she shouted at a couple of students. I was use to that, I think she loved shouting. She gave us a half an hour lecture on behavior and our studies, then another half an hour on our exams and assessments. It was just so typical really. One hour had gone past and now I was just singing songs in my mind. I figured that I use to do that before as well. A side smile came on my face as I happily thought, perhaps I haven’t fully changed. Maybe I just need my idiots with me. I was aware of what can make me happy even for maybe a little while.

I was aware of what I can start doing, maybe not aware of what’s coming in the future and not aware of what to think, who to listen to who not to. But I knew I had to make a fast move in my life to open something new. I just need to be aware of what to do! I know I will get so many suggestions in the few months coming ahead but I need to not take them in, just like how Sasha had explained to me. I just need to be aware of what I am going to decide in life!
Family Vs Friends

College had finish; first day of college was done. I was glad of that, for sure. I was desperate to go home, yet I really didn’t want to leave my college. I had got out of French class room walking towards Sasha’s Lesson. She had sports lesson, she had weird hobbies, I couldn’t really argue with her about that, I was pretty much very competitive when I played my sports, especially badminton! When I reached to the girls changing room, I saw Sasha run around in a precipitate as she look up at me she said “hold on two seconds, let me pack this up.” she started putting her kit into her bag in a rush as I waited looking at what she was doing. Finally she was ready and we started walking.

She linked onto my hand and started playing with her hair. “So how was your day today?” she asked pleasantly.
“It was okay mother.” I said as a joke.
“Ha, that’s good child.” she replied joking.
Her eyes met another persons and she pulled me to the other side of where we were walking. “You see him, that guy to the left. He is so scary!” she said to me gasping!
“Scary?” I asked curiously.
“Yeah, scary! Have you seen him, look carefully doesn’t he look scary?”