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kissed her back. They kissed long and hard then she pulled away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” The girl asked. Josh nodded and kissed her again.

“You bet babe.” He said smiling as he pulled away from her. The girl looked at me and smirked and turned and walked away. Josh turned around and smiled. His smile then faded as he saw me. I felt the tears coming to my eyes. His mouth opened then shut.

“Alex.. I...” He stopped himself. I looked at him sadly. I couldn’t move. And my chest felt like it would cave in at any moment. And I was fine with that. I wouldn’t mind dying because my first love had just done this right before my eyes.

“So the whole thing about you and me being together was just a lie?” I finally managed to say. I stood up. My knees shaking violently. Josh ran over to me, grabbing my hands.

“No, that was just a mistake A. I swear. I love you.” He said pleadingly. I pulled my hands away.

“We were a mistake or what you just did with that girl?” I said the tears then falling down my cheeks. Josh shook his head.

“What happened with me and that girl Alex. You know I care about you.” He said. I scoffed.

“That wasn’t a mistake you meant to do this. You didn’t even try telling her that you almost had a girlfriend but it looks like she is your girlfriend anyway. And you care? You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said. Josh looked at me sadly.

“I...I forgot I’m sorry.” He begged. I shook my head.

“You forgot? You forgot how you fucking told me that I meant everything to you? I bet you told her the same exact bull shit. If you forgot about everything that happened then that shows how much I mean to you....Which is nothing.” I said. He shook his head, pulling me in and kissing my lips. I tried pulling away, it only making him hold me against him harder. He pushed his tongue into my mouth. I cringed, pulling away.

“Don’t touch me or talk to me ever again.” I said the tears going down my cheeks even faster. He looked at me.

“Fine.” He said angrily.

“Don’t believe a fucking word I’ve said. But it’s all true.” He said angrily. I scoffed.

“Your such a fucking liar! You could have pushed her away but you didn’t! Did you invite me to meet up with you here just thinking it would make it easier for me to understand that I can’t be with you?! Did you think I’d run away and just ignore you? Well I’m not that fucking pathetic that I can’t face you.” I screamed. He breathed heavily, the veins in his neck starting to show.

“Your such a fucking whore.” He said angrily. My eyes got wide and I smacked him across the face. Using all the anger and force in my body. I cried harder.

“I’m not a whore. That sad excuse of a girl that you just kissed in front of me is a whore. And I hope to god that she breaks you and you see how bad it feels.” I said. He gritted his teeth and looked at me. I then heard the door to his house open.

“Hey is everything okay out here?” I heard his mom say. Josh gulped looking at me in disgust.

“Yeah, Alex was just leaving.” He said.

“Oh well wouldn’t you like to stay for dinner Alex? Your mom’s planning on coming over anyway.” She said kindly. I couldn’t speak without my voice cracking.

“No she isn’t wanted here or anywheres else.” Josh spat at me. I looked up at him. The tears left my eyes as the anger in my body came back.

“Josh Alexander Biersack! Apologize this instant.” She said angrily. I shook my head.

“All he has to say sorry for is for his sorry excuse for a life.” I spat back and walked across the lawn onto the sidewalk and down to my house. I heard his mom yelling for me. I then started to run. My house finally in view. I ran up the dark brown painted steps and threw the black door open, pulling it shut behind me. I ran across the wooden flooring and up to my room. My feet pounded against the wooden steps. I felt the tears pouring down my cheeks. I pushed my door open and slammed it shut. I cried harder. The anger flowing through me. I then looked at myself in my mirror. The little of eyeliner and mascara I had on was dripping down my lightly tanned cheeks. My light brown hair matted down. My brown eyes watery and dark.

“Your so ugly..”I mumbled to myself in the mirror.

“Why can’t you be like her?”

“WHY CAN’T YOU BE ENOUGH?!” I screamed then slammed my fist against the mirror. It shattering and shards of glass falling on the floor. I screamed in pain as some of the shards hit against my arms leaving small cuts all up and down them. Blood dripping down the cuts and down my arms. I ran to the bathroom. The bones in my fist slightly visible and blood dripping out of my fist profusely.

“Alex?” I heard my mom call up the stairs. 

“MOM!” I screamed in agony as the water ran against my fist, it stingy painfully. She ran up the stairs. She pushed through the bathroom door. Her coat from the hospital still on her shoulders. She looked at my arms and fist, horrified. She opened the cubourd behind the door quickly, grabbing the first aid kit and a towel, wrapping it around my fist. I screamed in pain. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed 911.

“Hello? Yes. Please my daughter she’s covered in cuts and glass is in her wounds. Her fist is cut open I need help please. This is Doctor Archer. Yes that one I need an ambulance quickly please!” She screamed into the phone....


I shivered as the memory went through my mind. I looked down at my fist. A scar that was rigid went across my right fist. I ran to my bed and cried against my pillow. I heard my phone going off in my pocket. I’m Sexy and I Know It rang and I knew who it was...Josh.
Walking On Air


CHAPTER FOUR!!

I pulled the phone up to my ear, wiping the tears away from my cheeks.

“Hello?” Josh’s low voice came through the phone. I gulped and cleared my throat.

“Hi.” I said. I slapped myself in the face mentally when I heard my voice crack. I heard scuffling noises in the background.

“Hey..uh..Are you okay?” I sighed.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said shakily.

“You aren’t going to hurt yourself again like last time are you?” His words melted into my skin. How could he say that?

“Do you like hurting me? Because lately you’ve been acting like it’s your job too. No I’m not going to hurt myself dammit. Last time that wasn’t supposed to happen. It just happened without me even expecting it.” I said angrily. I heard him breathing shakily. I sat on the window sill, leaning against the cold foggy glass.

“Alex I’m sorry..” I sighed. I said nothing. I couldn’t say anything. I was incapable. I was speechless.

“I really care about you...But I just I can’t let that out yet...Cassy... She’d hurt you. And I’ve hurt you enough.. You don’t need her on your ass more then she already is.” I didn’t know what to say to that. It was sweet but really....stupid at the same time. I breathed out heavily.

“So I’m just your little embarrassment right?” I asked sadly. I heard him chuckle on the other end.

“Believe me your not my embarrassment. I’m protecting you from the douche crowd. If I was friends with you they would hit on you too. I’m who they follow and and the girls would do everything they could to hurt you...They would break you and I don’t want you to get hurt..Like I said before I’ve done enough damage...” He said sadly. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks and the smile spread across my lips.

“Okay.” Is all I could say. I couldn’t tell him what I wanted to. I couldn’t say the three words I wanted to say to him so badly.

“So your not mad at me anymore?” He asked. I chuckled.

“No I’m not mad at you anymore.” I said. He laughed.

“Good...You wanna come over? We haven’t hung out in a long time.” He said. I smiled brightly.
“Yeah I’ll be over in 5.” I said and hung up the phone. I pulled off my clothes from today and grabbed my black v-neck and bright blue undershirt. Pulling them on quickly then pulling on my grey skinnies. I ran down the stairs and pulled on my black boots and ran out the door. I walked down the pathway of our house and onto the sidewalk. I looked both ways then crossed and walked further down the sidewalk. Josh’s house was a block and a half from my house. I saw Josh’s house it wasn’t that far away. His mom and dad at work most likely. I then heard loud music. Ke$ha blow was blaring out of the speakers of a red honda. I looked at the license plate and froze. It said CASAY in bold letters. I gulped. The car slowed down as it came to being right beside me. The windows rolled down and Cassy looked out of the drivers side window. She looked at me in disgust. Her followers resided in the back seat.

“Hey what do you call an emo whore covered in vanilla milkshake?” Cassy asked her friends. I froze. She brought a large cup that had Mcdonalds on it and smiled.

“A swallower.” She said and pulled the top of and through the cup at me. Vanilla milk shake covered my face,chest and stomach. The girls in the car laughed as the cup fell off my body and to the ground.

“Don’t know why and guy would mess with a fat ass like you anyway. Take this as a favor from me. I’m covering your face up from the world.” She said laughing along with the girls in the back. She then waved and drove away. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. It was to far to go home. I needed someone to make it all okay.. I ran over to Josh’s house and down the pathway and up the steps. I knocked on the door, sniveling. The door opened quickly. A smile on

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