Heal The Abuse - Recover Your Life, Jason Goodwin [ink book reader .txt] 📗

When we have made a commitment to improvingour lives, we immediately return to abstinence from the drug orbehavior we are trying to quit. We cannot allow our addiction tokeep us from the health and prosperity we deserve.

We’re not perfect, and healing is not somestraight line out of suffering and into health. In an ideal world,there would be no relapse. In an ideal world, we would be able toquit an addiction and have no problem holding firm to our decision.But for most of us, that’s not the way it works. Recovery is aprocess, not an event.

There can be times when even our bestintentions will not keep us sober. With a strong trigger likerunning into an old drinking/using friend or the death of arelative, we may begin to crave alcohol, drugs, food, or sexagain.

Guilt and shame are poison to our recoveryprocess. It’s important to forgive ourselves when we relapse. Weneed to give our recovery process another chance.

Keep believing in yourself, even if yourelapse. Never use a relapse as an excuse to return to activeaddiction. Repeat after me:

“I am not perfect. I am only human. SometimesI feel overwhelmed, and that’s O.K. I am going to get back on myfeet and keep moving in a positive direction. I am becoming astronger, healthier person. I will never give up on my recoveryprocess because I deserve better.”

Recovering addicts often experience a big,empty hole in their lives when they first quit an addiction.Addictions usually grow larger over time. In the later stages ofaddiction, we may reach the point where our entire life andeverything in it revolves around the drink, the drug, or thebehavior.

People sometimes grow bored in recovery andwonder what they can possibly do to fill that void. Recoveringalcoholics and addicts sit and stare at the wall instead ofreturning to the hobbies and activities they used to enjoy. Boredomcan lead to relapse when we don’t give ourselves enough time toadjust to our new, healthier lifestyle.

There are many fun, exciting things we can doin recovery that do not involve drinking, using, food, or sex. Weneed to rediscover these hobbies and activities.

Some of us fall into nostalgic thinking. Wefantasize about the “good old days,” and begin to glorify orromanticize the past. We remember the good times we had but forgetabout the problems our addictions caused.

We need to grieve the loss of our addictionjust as we would grieve the loss of a loved one. Yes, we dependedon it. We turned to it, and it was always there for us. But ourrelationship with our addiction was dysfunctional. In the end, theaddiction took more than it gave. It deceived us and hurt us. Itdamaged our health, and may have robbed us of our freedom.

At first, sobriety can feel like a loss. Theloss of our ability to control the way we feel. Yet with time,sobriety becomes an opportunity. An opportunity to regaineverything our addiction took from us. An opportunity to create newrelationships and new goals for our future. To dream in ways thatwe could never have dreamed while we were drinking, using, oracting out our addictive behaviors.

Recovery is the struggle between a part of usthat wants to use and a part of us that wants to remain sober. Wewill never be cured. There will always be a part of us that wantsto drink, use, or act out. So the key is to constantly strengthenthe part of us that wants to stay sober, and constantly weaken thepart of us that wants to return to those old behaviors.

Strengthening our sober side is a matter ofgoing to treatment, AA/NA meetings, exercising regularly, gettingenough sleep, writing about our feelings in a journal, asking forhelp from other recovering addicts, and engaging in our spiritualpractices. In fact, anything we do that makes us physically,mentally, emotionally, or spiritually stronger will help us toremain sober.

Weakening our addicted side is a matter ofavoiding the drink, the drug, or the behavior and the places wherethat behavior took place. We need to avoid the bar, thedrug-dealer, old friends who continue to drink or use, businessesthat sell pornography, strip clubs or brothels, fast foodrestaurants, or casinos where we spent money compulsively. We needto change the way we think about our lives. We need to refocus onthe positive and give less power to the negative. We need to becomemore grateful for our many blessings.

It’s important to recognize when ouraddictive thinking is telling us its okay to drink, use, or act out“just one more time.” When our addictive mind tells us, “You don’thave a problem,” or that, “Your problems are everyone else’sfault.” Over time, we realize that everything our addictive mindtells us is a lie.

Relapse is more likely when we are stressedout or feeling weak. When the part of us that wants to use and thepart of us that wants to remain sober are almost equal in strength.At times like this, we may feel like using one day and stayingsober the next.

During these times of struggle, we need to doeverything we can to strengthen the sober part of us. It might betime to go to an AA/NA meeting or talk with our sponsor, supportivefamily members, or friends. We may need to engage in healthyactivities to refocus ourselves on the positive aspects of life.The more we encourage our inner self, the more effectively we canwork our recovery process.

Process Questions

Have I relapsed on a chemical or behavioraladdiction in the past?

How did it feel when I relapsed on a chemicalor behavioral addiction?

Have I ever used a relapse as an excuse togive up? Have I ever used it as a justification to return to activeaddiction?

What good things will happen to me if I keepworking to overcome my addictions?

How will my self-esteem improve if I staysober?

Stepping Stones to Health

Relapse

-Try to identify where you are in the stepping-stonesto health, and the next step or steps

you need to take.

_____ 1. I have relapsed on a chemical orbehavioral addiction in the past, and I

quit trying to