Dating & Courtship, Stephen Picklesimer [e textbook reader TXT] 📗
- Author: Stephen Picklesimer
Book online «Dating & Courtship, Stephen Picklesimer [e textbook reader TXT] 📗». Author Stephen Picklesimer
the most important thing in your life—and the definition of an idol is a person or thing that is an object of adoration—you have put God into second place! This means that every aspect of your life will suffer—including, ironically, the very relationship with your fiancé, and later your spouse, if you do not see what is happening. If you always make sure that God is first in your life, all other areas benefit. Your relationship will experience more growth and truly be the best it can be.
“Cold feet”
When people near the end of their engagement and the “big day” approaches, some experience what is termed “cold feet.” They get nervous or worried about the upcoming wedding and marriage. Of course, a certain amount of this is natural. The wedding alone, one of the biggest events in your life, and often occurring with many or even hundreds of people watching, can be enough to intimidate the strongest people.
Further, the marriage itself will change the way you do most everything, because you are incorporating an entire person into your thinking, routine and day-to-day living. Just the thought of something this big can cause some, or even much, nervous anticipation. But this alone should not be sufficient to allow serious doubt to creep into your thinking. Satan is the author of doubt, and he will cloud your mind with confusion if you allow him. If you truly apply the principles outlined in this book, you will have no reason to doubt.
“Cold feet” are almost invariably connected with fear. Isolate the concern. Ask yourself exactly what it is that you fear. Is the fear reasonable or unreasonable—logical or illogical? What caused it to arise? Have you had it for some time without recognizing it, or is it new? Whether it is an older or newer concern, pin down exactly what triggered it. If necessary, explore it with your potential mate, but in a spirit of calm reassurance.
But sometimes, “eleventh hour” reservations persist. If you hold serious reservations or questions that cannot be resolved, go to parents, very close friends, the ministry—and God directly!—for counseling and help. Remember again: It should go without saying that you should be very discreet about what you tell anyone other than family and the ministry about your concerns.
If the issues causing concern cannot be resolved, DO NOT BRUSH THEM ASIDE!! If they do not quickly dissipate, you must never be afraid to break off the relationship! Whatever pain this causes—and there will surely be some—will be infinitely less than going forward with a marriage that should not be. This would do a grave disservice to you, your future spouse and the children that could come from the union.
Never dismiss serious concerns without resolving them because you are too embarrassed to “call it off.” The alternative can be much, much worse—your mate “calls it off” later, thrusting you into a messy, painful divorce!
Before You Say “I do”
Many people spend a lifetime striving to accumulate knowledge. Yet, knowledge is of no purpose unless it is put to use. This book has brought you much KNOWLEDGE. But it cannot help you unless you and your potential spouse USE IT!
You have learned the way to date, court and conduct yourself during engagement, all according to God’s principles. This has almost certainly required you to completely change your perspective. Recall that we talked about the fact that employing change does not just involve learning right knowledge and principles, but unlearning wrong knowledge, practices and socially accepted traditions.
The Christian has three enemies: human nature, the pull of the society around him and the influence of the ruler of this world—Satan the devil. Individually, these are serious foes. Collectively, they are FORMIDABLE, with each affecting your perspective on proper dating, courtship, engagement and marriage.
Grasp this! God designed all human beings to be happy. Yet, achieving full happiness is virtually impossible if one is in a miserable marriage. Before entertaining the thought of marriage, study and re-study the principles contained in this book. Be sure that anyone you consider for marriage is methodically doing the same. (Pages for “Personal Notes and Observations” are provided at the back for your convenience.) Most of all, be sure that you have grounded yourself in the knowledge revealed here well before even beginning to date.
You now have the necessary, vital principles ready for application when that right person comes into your life. When the time comes, if you allow Him, God will provide that one person who is the right mate for you. Diligently apply yourself—knowing in advance that a wonderful God-plane relationship filled with supreme joy and happiness can await you!
“Cold feet”
When people near the end of their engagement and the “big day” approaches, some experience what is termed “cold feet.” They get nervous or worried about the upcoming wedding and marriage. Of course, a certain amount of this is natural. The wedding alone, one of the biggest events in your life, and often occurring with many or even hundreds of people watching, can be enough to intimidate the strongest people.
Further, the marriage itself will change the way you do most everything, because you are incorporating an entire person into your thinking, routine and day-to-day living. Just the thought of something this big can cause some, or even much, nervous anticipation. But this alone should not be sufficient to allow serious doubt to creep into your thinking. Satan is the author of doubt, and he will cloud your mind with confusion if you allow him. If you truly apply the principles outlined in this book, you will have no reason to doubt.
“Cold feet” are almost invariably connected with fear. Isolate the concern. Ask yourself exactly what it is that you fear. Is the fear reasonable or unreasonable—logical or illogical? What caused it to arise? Have you had it for some time without recognizing it, or is it new? Whether it is an older or newer concern, pin down exactly what triggered it. If necessary, explore it with your potential mate, but in a spirit of calm reassurance.
But sometimes, “eleventh hour” reservations persist. If you hold serious reservations or questions that cannot be resolved, go to parents, very close friends, the ministry—and God directly!—for counseling and help. Remember again: It should go without saying that you should be very discreet about what you tell anyone other than family and the ministry about your concerns.
If the issues causing concern cannot be resolved, DO NOT BRUSH THEM ASIDE!! If they do not quickly dissipate, you must never be afraid to break off the relationship! Whatever pain this causes—and there will surely be some—will be infinitely less than going forward with a marriage that should not be. This would do a grave disservice to you, your future spouse and the children that could come from the union.
Never dismiss serious concerns without resolving them because you are too embarrassed to “call it off.” The alternative can be much, much worse—your mate “calls it off” later, thrusting you into a messy, painful divorce!
Before You Say “I do”
Many people spend a lifetime striving to accumulate knowledge. Yet, knowledge is of no purpose unless it is put to use. This book has brought you much KNOWLEDGE. But it cannot help you unless you and your potential spouse USE IT!
You have learned the way to date, court and conduct yourself during engagement, all according to God’s principles. This has almost certainly required you to completely change your perspective. Recall that we talked about the fact that employing change does not just involve learning right knowledge and principles, but unlearning wrong knowledge, practices and socially accepted traditions.
The Christian has three enemies: human nature, the pull of the society around him and the influence of the ruler of this world—Satan the devil. Individually, these are serious foes. Collectively, they are FORMIDABLE, with each affecting your perspective on proper dating, courtship, engagement and marriage.
Grasp this! God designed all human beings to be happy. Yet, achieving full happiness is virtually impossible if one is in a miserable marriage. Before entertaining the thought of marriage, study and re-study the principles contained in this book. Be sure that anyone you consider for marriage is methodically doing the same. (Pages for “Personal Notes and Observations” are provided at the back for your convenience.) Most of all, be sure that you have grounded yourself in the knowledge revealed here well before even beginning to date.
You now have the necessary, vital principles ready for application when that right person comes into your life. When the time comes, if you allow Him, God will provide that one person who is the right mate for you. Diligently apply yourself—knowing in advance that a wonderful God-plane relationship filled with supreme joy and happiness can await you!
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Publication Date: 10-23-2012
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