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and Sam took turn teaching Axell how to walk and use the potty and learned pretty fast in time when he was 3 he was on his feet and running growing with hazel green eyes and brunette hair unlike his father but more like me the only thing was he acted odd when left alone somedays I’d look out my window to see him walking out to the woods and I’d have to go get him or he’ll sit on the porch looking up the sky as if he sees something else besides the planes and the birds.At first it didn’t bother me Sam says it’s a kid thing something some kids do when they get a certain age and I shouldn’t worry from age 6 to now the age of 17 of the present time he’s talks to himself but doing it quietly for no one to hear my worries get worse so I decide me and him should spend some time together so one weekend on a Saturday afternoon we have a pinic in the backyard where we sit on blanket eating peaches from the everlasting peachtree and to this day bitting into one of those blessed fruits still thrills my tongue even now at the age of 29 the forever fresh flavors still made my day Axell:Wow mom these are really good) I’m glad to hear it he’s not the only one enjoying them I know that much.We enjoy the fresh air as he tells me about school and his grades telling me he’s got plans to join the army when he graduates hearing that almost makes me choke on the piece of fruit in my mouth as I get a quick flashback of Latiya in the dessert I ask him why the military telling he could use the money to help me and his dad wich I thought was sweet but still concerned.i brush it off with a smile seeing that all he wants to do is lend a hand then kiss him on the cheek and we continue eating our peaches’’As your mother I am fully supportive of your decision,now that we got that out the way.Iask him a deeper question hoping to get an answer’’who is it that you talk to when your alone sweetie,he looks down at the ground as if he’d done something wrong but tell him it’s ok and that he shouldn’t be afraid to tell me anything.He hesitates for minute Axell:it’s nothing mom just having one of those moments) moments? I ask him if he’s sure it’s nothing then nods yes then drop the issue and continue our bond.An hour later we go inside to wash up and get ready for dinner heading upstairs to the bathroom I walk by mom’s room then step to see Aidess hold her hand as she appeared silently asleep approaching close I could clearly see that my mother was long gone I look down fidgeting my hands not knowing what to do except let the tears fall down my face Aidess takes my hand and hers praying silently.

 

Chapter.16

A month after the funeral I went visit both my mom and dad’s graves both buried side by side placing a rose on their tombstones then praying silently while sam Axell stood behind me patiently waiting,touching the stones I get flashes of me and my dad fishing at the dock then another of me as a kid with my parents watching the fireworks on the fourth of july remembering the good times we had.I get my thoughts together then head home.An early Monday afternoon I get up doing my daily routines while Sam is at work and Axell at school.I sweep the floor dust the blinds do the dishes care for the garden wipe down the windows and clean the bathrooms and the bedrooms then check the mail but get nothing much but bills and coupons.Walking to the dining room I get a knock on the door opening it I couldn’t believe before my eyes after all these years he came back Jueleous:Hello Liberty I hope I’m not interrupting anything) my feelings come back seeing Jueleous stand at my doorstep tall with short hair clean shaven and dressed in suit holding a bible me standing at the door he leans in kissing me on the lips making me turn away thinking about Sam and Axell knowing it would hurt Sam dearly if he found out about this then step outside with him while he steps down on the porch Liberty:Jueleous I understand how you may feel about me but those days are long gone not saying I don’t have feelings I just have feelings for you as a friend and besides you left me while Sam was there in my struggles I’m sorry but I’m married now and I love Sam and won’t deceive him for you or anybody else)looking down with a sad expression he brushes it off with a smile Jueleous:Your right I wouldn’t want you to do that your too smart and beautiful to do something so fowl what was I thinking? Well I only wish you the best of luck if you ever need me I’ll be around)giving me a card with his number on it he walks off strolling down the lonely road leading into town.I go inside to catch my breath then finish cleaning repeating to myself over and over he’s just a friend he’s just a friend.Later that evening as a family me Sam and Axell sit at the table having dinner like every other nigh Sam telling me about his day and Axell telling me about school so far both brought home good news.sam got promoted as an executive and Axell is on his way to early graduation with a full line A’s on his report card wich makes me as a mother so proud of him and myself after a nice meal of steak yellow rice and peach cobbler sam leans back patting his stomach showing a sign of being full telling the cobbler was better than his mom’s fresh baked apple pie wich I too love Axell seems to be loving it from the way he’s humming yum yum I should probably make peach cobbler more often as though it seems eating it myself soothes my taste buds one piece after another we laugh and enjoy ourselves and our evening as a family.The following night after dinner Axell is sent to bed while stands by the window wearing a taktop and gym shorts as I come out the shower the bathroom in a light blue night gown he seemed to be bothered by something so I ask what’s on his mind Sam:I saw Jueleous today actually I seen him preaching at the library you use to work at….do you still love him?)scared I tell him no even though he knen we use to be together he knew I had strong feelings for him then when I was a kid but it was just lust something most kids go through in their early ages showing doubt he sleeps on his side of the bed with his back turned to me.

 

Chapter.17

For a whole month day ina d day out sam doesn’t touch me instead gives me a kiss on the cheek and goes on with his days taking his lunch with him still saying he loves me but won’t look me in eye when saying it I clean the house as always with no issue but the vibe I get from him makes it’s difficult to from any other day making it seem almost pointless as if doing it won’t change how he’s feeling inside except the condition of the house some nights I tried showing affection with a piece of cake while wearing the perfume he likes to smell on me but does no good as he continues to roll over on me once again turning me down going to sleep.I get fed up and wake him out his snooze Liberty:Honey I understand that you may think me and Jueleous might have feelings but I want you to understand that you’re my hubby and I don’t want the past interfering with what we have and if you can’t see that….) Sam:Do you love him?) I look him in the eye then lean in for a kiss but it didn’t feel like it was saying I believe you it felt more like a goodnight and he rolls over once again turning his back to me and I do the same almost on the vurge of giving up Sam won’t touch or look my way.I go to the backdoor still in my night gown walking to the backwoods following the narrow path leading to the peachtree when approaching it I look up at the full moon that gazes above it with it’s light getting close I feel a soothing warmth on top of my feet as I stood in front of the tree then got on my knees talking to it asking for hope in my marriage asking god if he can let Sam see that it is him I truly love and only him no one else could ever come between that no matter what we go through I pray hard and deep then lay under the tree feeling the warmth of the earth on my body not feeling any bugs or rodents just blessed clean ground feeling safe secure and relieved with the wind blowing softly.I again feel soft gentle hands brush against my face my eyes drift in and out of sleep feeling another brush up against my legs then more at a time caressing my body having me squirm and turn in different angles as I felt the pleasure of the gentle touches it was so enjoyable all the way down to one pair of hands.Aidess sleeps next to me under the tree holding me in his arms as I dreamed and felt his touch.Waking up I see the sun starting to rise as the warm light opens my eyes rolling over on my back I still see the stars and moon visible in part of the sky then get to my feet walking back to the house shivering as my toes feel cold wet grass from early morning dew I make it in just in time to see Sam just waking up rubbing his eyes seeing me at the doorway he feels bad and apologizes for his behavior or should I say acting like a jerk I tell him it’s ok and give him a kiss then wash up and cook breakfast walking mom’s room I see an illusional image of me as a child and mom in her younger playing patty cake.i glance at the scene for a moment then continue down the hallway..I sip a cup of tea while writing in my diary at a local diner explaining the experience I had lastnight still remembering my body swimming in ecstasy the feeling of being caressed soothed excited and relaxed a feeling Sam once gave me and hope I can get it again tonight except with Sam hopefully when he gets off tonight.I look forward a few tables few down to see a father and daughter sitting side by side talking and eating burgers with chuckles thinking how adorable I could only wish my dad and I could’ve enjoyed that day of fishing a little longer I might’ve caught something that night when I pray sometimes I think about my dad and how he told me he loved me and how he wanted us to be closer as a family some nights some nights I still hear him repeating that in my head before going to sleep those indeed were the days for us and that day was the last.when I get home I check the mailbox getting a few bills as always and some coupons of course then get a letter from the military running in the house quickly I open it reading

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