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about three hours of less and the rest of the day I just sit and wait. Days turn into weeks; weeks into months, months into years, still no sign of Axell, no one but me.

One day I woke up after an hour of sleep I look under my bed and pull out a shoebox with my diary, collection of pens, and my old glasses. As I laid down looking out of the window I opened it up to retrieve a pen; as I flip through my diary looking for a blank page I start to write about my years of pain I’ve felt from losing my parents and my best friend. But as a mother losing my son is the biggest lost of my life, and as a woman bearing a child it feels to me that it wasn’t enough.I know we as women are strong but to lose a child is especially our own is what makes us weak to our feet meaning we have to build strength to stand up again with my husband gone I’ll love him regardless I just wish he didn’t see it as lightly as I did but as a man he made his choice and chose to leave but calls every now and again to keep in touch and sends me money when needed to help with the house he just won’t pay a visit to see if I’m ok but I can live with that as the same with Aidess as well who I have not seen in the last 20 slolwy gone years after all the life lessons and mistakes I’ve made I know now to keep a somewhat clear mind on life now that all that had is gone.A clear afternoon comes through with a clear blue skyand a few clouds I take a stroll down the desserted road from my house with theee wind blwoing in my hair dressed in a lighttt pink dress approaching the same open field as before that I prayed in looking down at the ground I pray with in it once more asking god to forgive me of all my sins as I got on my knees in repent pleading in mind for forgiveness asking deeply for his grace and his glory asking that he watch over Axell and Sam wherever they may be and to protect and watch over those close to me asking that he forgive me of my faults and mistakes and flaws’’during my prayers I hear thunder with the nay of a horse.I look ahead to see the pure white horse I once seen as a kid approach me not afraid or tempted I stand perfectly still as it gets closer with it’s fur whiter than snow along with long mane and crystal blue eyes looking deep into mine as we stand face to face.I reach out to pet him touching the warm skin of his cheeks then down his face seeing that he’s real made my heart skip a beat but kept unning as fit together as I continued petting him gently til he then walks backwards standing there for a moment then disappearing like a ghost leaving me alone standing in the field.

 

Chapter.20

Getting home from my walk I feel a sharp pain in my chest like heartburn except worse I rush to the house slamming the door and upstairs hurrying quickly to the bathroom the pain gets worse as I look in the medicine cabinet and find aspirin capsule. I pop three chewing them down hard then slowly the pain starts to ease up little by little as I stay standing in front of the mirror trying not to pass out unconscious taking deep breaths as my heart my slows down to a normal beat while I put my hand on my head with a sigh of relief (knock knock!) someone’s at the door careful with every step I take my time down the stairs gripping the pole to keep me from falling when reaching the bottom I look in the mirror next to the door checking my heart once more then fixing my hair opening the door I see….It’s Ranice a lot older with longer dreads and a thinner body dressed in a long red and orange dress with black sandals seeing me with a smile and me with a confusing expression she hugs me asking what I’ve been up to all these years’’hm I’ve been better just living life and staying strong Ranice:That’s good I just thought I’d come by and tell you I’m sorry….for everything that’s happened between us and asked for god’s forgiveness and so here I am asking for yours) thinking about it I open my door to welcome her in sitting at the kitchen table drinking tea we catch up telling her about me and Sam’s separation then tells me about her and James’s divorce 6 years ago wich was surprising not knowing she would actually marry the same guy that beat on her I guess she got tired and called it in. I tell her about my son axel running away to the army then looks me in the face with a pause telling me how both her son’s were in the army and got killed before seeing 25 hearing that news brings tears to my eyes knowing she’s lost what I could possibly lose as well Ranice:I got the news when a sergeant knocked on my door holding two folded flags and two dog tags right then is when I knew they weren’t coming home knowing that my only two sons weren’t coming back and it hurt like hell to my soul knowing my babies were shot down cold in that dessert but that’s why I have god because he can show the up so you’ll never have to let look down even when you lose the closest ones to you and that is something worth praying for)hearing her story touches my heart deeply knowing we both have lost people close in our lives. I try cheering us both up wiping away her tears and my own then grab a bowl and have her follow me to the backwoods following me out the backdoor we walk across the huge field of the backyard approaching the woods following me on the trail reminding her to watch out for the rock up ahead wich tripped me once then taking a left turn while staying on the path moments later not too long we see the still living and blooming peach tree still standing in good health with rich green leaves healthy brown bark and freshly bloomed peaches ready to be picked Ranice:Wow) she’s amazed at the sight to see how the tree stands so strong and well not seeing anything like it so colorful and ripe with sun’s light shinning down upon it so heavenly with small particles of glitter raining on it holding the bowl we pick 6 peaches then walk back to the house where we sit on the patio helping ourselves to a feast Ranice:Now that is a real peach mmm so good it make me wanna do a backflip like I’m in highschool again) we laugh and talk while eating the sweet fruits of heaven while she tells me how good they are and I agree finishing 3 of them I let her have the bowl with the last three by the end of the day we hug and say our goodbyes while walking to her car she backs out the driveway waving as I wave back then go inside later that night before going to bed that night I look out the window staring at the moon. I talk to god asking him to relieve me of my pain and allow me to sleep peacefully tonight since I never could get a goodnight’s sleep since my son’s disappearance so I layed in the center of my bed looking up at the ceiling til I close my eyes and drift slowly off to sleep.Ranice comes over the following day calling out for me as she comes up the stairs with excitement in her voice talking about the plans she got for today as she talks to herself coming up step by step til she reaches my room seeing me still in the bed Ranice:It’s a nice day today and your still in bed come on noe I know the lord rose the sun up for a reason)coming closer she sits in a chair with a look of concern seeing that I’m not doing so well as my eyes are Aidessmove she touches my forehead seeing I don’t have a fever but feel cold and look pale with my fingers locked together on my chest telling me I need a doctor digging in her purse she reaches for her cellphone to dial 9-1-1 but I tell her NO’’ I’ve lived all these years and went through enough turmoil lastnight I asked god to let me have a goodnight’s sleep and slept better then I ever have lastnight laying in this exact same spot without nightmares or disturbances and now I’m tired once again and would like one more nap for old time’s sake but before closing my eyes with a silent rest I just wanted to see you one last time. Ranice takes my hand concerned for me as to why I’m saying what I’m saying not knowing what to do as she watches every slow blink of my eyes grow weak to stay open Ranice looks at me with a sad expression trying to keep a smile Ranice:Your gonna be ok trust me your gonna be ok) looking at her with a light smirk she then starts talking about the first time we met and how she felt towards me I listened as she spoke while my eyes were slowly blinking slower then slower then close completely….never to be opened again. Aidess:I’ll take her) Aidess stands at the door wearing only a white cowl around his waist barefoot and bare chested Ranice stands up out his way seeing who he is and what he is mumbling in prayer as he walks in the room standing over Liberty’s body leaning forward he glances for a minute then kisses her on the forehead cold to the touch Aidess:Time to go for my father is waiting for you) scooping her up he lifts her spirit form out her body holding in both arms then walking out of the room and down the stairs Axell walks in the dressed in a military suit and hat coated in badges and medals calling to his mom seeing Aidess carrying her spirit he takes off his hat with tears running down his face seeing that it was too late to say I’m home Axell:Will she be at peace?) Aidess stopps then looks back at Axell replying yes then continues his way out the backdoor wich swings open to make way walking out to the backyard he stands between the backwoods and the house looking at her spirit as it rested in his arms he then looks up at the sky as the clouds above him open for the sun wich beams through shining down down upon them both the bright rays form a pair of wings upon his back as he rises in the sky being brought up by the light of heaven and disappearing into the sky all that stood left was the peach tree blessed by god still standing living blooming and everlasting

 

The End

 

 

 

 

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