How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #2), DeYtH Banger, Clive Cooper [i read book TXT] 📗

to juggle too much, we are very busy, and there's not a lot of time to reflect.

"Sometimes we do things we don't intend to do, but no-one ever tells us, so you just keep doing it and you don't realise the impact you can have on someone else."

 

Meredith counselled Irene, who worked in retail, and was a nervous wreckthanks to a deeply conscientious manager who wore her diligence as a badge of honour, and berated others for failing to live up to her standard.

"It just made her really difficult to work with, because you were always on tenterhooks, and always felt like you were failing, no matter how hard you tried."

 

The counselling helped Irene understand the manager's behaviour. "I would deal with those things very differently now. She had targets to meet and had a boss on her case, and she was extremely stressed all the time," she said. "She needed a scapegoat."

Sometimes it takes an outsider — a counsellor, perhaps — to help us work out whether we are victims of emotional campaigns, or just upset by someone's manner or tone.

 

But we can also help ourselves by trying to de-stress and look at the big picture, says Meredith. When we have breathing space, we reflect on how significant this person is in the context of our whole life, and whether we can do anything to better manage our own responses.

 

The difference between encountering mean girls at high school and mean women in adulthood is that back then, we were young and insecure; as adults, we have experience, perspective, and choice.

Sally, for example, left Vanessa's martial arts training centre and found a new one, where she was valued and respected.

And one day, when she confessed why she had left her earlier centre, she found a little vindication too. Other women had left for the same reason.

 

So she wasn't imagining Vanessa's behaviour, and it wasn't her fault; it was just that, mentally at least, some girls never quite leave the playground.

 

*Names changed for legal reasons

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6 - Truth

 Note: And let's face the truth... lets build a wall

 

 

How to Deal With Rude & Disrespectful Women

 

 

 

 

A rude woman may get in your face as she demands her way.

 

Dealing with rude, disrespectful women requires patience, a calm state of being and a clear mind. You never know when you will run into a woman who is less than polite to you; demanding her way, cursing at you or just being generally rude. You also may simply be an observer who witnesses a woman being rude and disrespectful to somebody else. Whatever the case, knowing how to deal with rude, disrespectful women will prepare you for the next time you run into one.

 

Remain calm. That's one of the most important things you can do when dealing with a rude, disrespectful woman. While she may not be calm or clear-minded, this does not mean that her bad mood has to rub off on you. If you encounter a woman being rude to you or someone you know, keep your cool and do not get in her face like you may feel the urge to.

 

Decide if confronting her about the problem is a reasonable step to take in this particular situation. Perhaps she is generally under control but made a smart remark to you; at this point, intervention is not called for or necessary. However, if she is openly insulting you or someone else close by, it may be appropriate to take action and step in.

 

Remain calm and ask her what the problem is. If you have decided that intervention is necessary, calmly approach her and ask her what the problem is. Listen to what she has to say without losing your temper or arguing with her. After she has stated why she was being rude, explain why her behavior is offensive and ask her to respect either your boundaries or the boundaries of the person you are standing up for. If she still does not respond and continues to throw out insults, it is time to get help from someone else, or possibly the authorities.

Be a good example. If you are the one talking to a rude woman, you may be the kind-hearted, patient example that stands out. If she says something openly rude to you and you have the strength, you may counter her meanness with a genuinely kind remark that will startle and surprise her. Whatever the case, do not let her rude spirit bring you down too much.

 

Avoid interactions with rude, disrespectful women. If you know a rude, disrespectful woman close to you, avoid interactions with her at all costs. It may upset you, and you do not need this burden. If you know someone who is constantly rude to you and she notices that you are avoiding her, perhaps she will re-examine her behavior and consider being a little more sensitive to you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

How to Behave as an Adult When a Friend Ignores You

 

 

At its worst, being ignored is considered silent bullying.

 

How you handle being ignored by a friend depends on the circumstances and your true relationship. Some fixes are obvious: if you got desperately drunk one night and insulted her, then you probably need to apologize. Other reasons for being shunned, however, aren't so easy to spot. This is especially true if the cold shoulder comes out of the blue. Before you act, look at the situation objectively. Getting ignored is a painful experience; setting your emotions aside will help you choose the most appropriate solution.

 

Take a Step Back

 

Put your feelings on pause for a moment and look at the facts. Are you really being ignored? If you and your friend have a strong relationship and nothing negative has transpired, it may just be a case of crossed wires. What you perceive as shunning could simply be nothing more than indication of a change of pace in your friend's life. She may have new job responsibilities, stress at home, a full schedule or unexpected chores that have made her less available than usual. A string of unreturned phone calls or text messages may simply result from normal life fluctuations.

 

Reflect

 

It's sometimes easy to overlook the role you may have played in the cooling off of a friendship, says Cosmopolitan. If a good friend suddenly ignores you, think back. Chances are -- if you're honest with yourself -- you'll be able to recognize anything you may have done to hurt or offend, paving the way for you to apologize or explain. While giving you the silent treatment isn't the most adult way for your hurt friend to respond, it could be that she didn't know what else to do.

 

Be Open

 

Don't be afraid to come right out and ask what's going on. Sometimes this is the best way to get to the heart of the matter. Choose a time when the two of you can speak privately. Approach the subject calmly and try not to let your emotions take over. Say something like, "I feel you've been avoiding me lately. Can you tell me why this is?" Or, "I feel that we're not as close as we were. Has something happened to change our friendship?"

 

Make a Decision

 

Hopefully, there's a fixable problem at the heart of your friend's behavior toward you -- but this isn't always the case. When every approach you take proves fruitless and your friend is still ignoring you, ask yourself whether this is a friendship worth getting bent out of shape over. Losing a relationship that involved nothing more than a superficial connection should hardly break your heart. Even if you were once close, persistent shunning is a form of punishment that can hurt as much as a physical injury. Don't be a victim. Move on.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 How to Avoid Fighting Someone Who Wants to Fight

 

 

 

How to Avoid Fighting Someone Who Wants to Fight. Often people think that fighting is brave or somehow makes them stronger and more powerful if they're not afraid of backing away from a fight. Actually, the opposite is true. The minute a fight happens, instinct takes over and it has nothing to do with bravery or power. It takes more strength to avoid a fight than to get into one.

Learn to handle your emotions. The first rule is to think before acting. This will take practice and an entire new set of skills. Human nature is to let emotions rule how a person acts, but it's possible to keep emotions in check. Avoid the temptation to let anger get the best of you.

Forget about who's right. When tempers flare it's difficult to reason with someone who wants to fight. Now is not the time to make your case or explain how the other person is overacting. Maybe there will be a time to talk things over later, but maybe the person is a stranger that you'll never see again and in that case, who cares who was right or wrong?

Acknowledge that the person is angry. Often people simply need the person they are angry with to recognize their emotion. This doesn't mean that you concede to being wrong or say it's OK for them to be mad. Tell them that you can see they are angry and you've clearly upset them.

Be sorry for upsetting the other person. This doesn't mean that you are sorry because you did something wrong. You are sorry for him that he is letting anger get the best of him. But sorry goes a long way in soothing over a touchy situation and can get emotions back down to a safe level to help you avoid a fight.

Walk away. Sometimes nothing beats avoidance like walking in the other direction. If the person who wants to fight is coming down the street or a discussion is heating up to an uncomfortable level, simply take a step in the opposite direction and continue walking.

 

 

 

 

 

Shunning – The Ultimate Rejection

 

 

 

 

Shunning can cause enduring damage.

 

Source: dreamstime.comIn the past few months, the topic of shunning has presented itself to us one too many times to be ignored. And so we off-road from our usual topic of PTSD and delve into this unfortunately pervasive social phenomenon.

Most of us can probably recount an incident when we have been either the perpetrator of the act of shunning and/or the recipient of being shunned. In the first instance, maybe you didn't want to see someone you know because you didn't have the time to deal with them. So you turn your face away and walk quickly by, hoping they didn't see you. You know perfectly well why you ignored the person, but they don’t have a clue, if you have had a good relationship previously. Conversely, let’s say you notice someone you haven’t seen in a while and want to say hello and catch up. You are sure they saw you. So you make a beeline toward them, but they do an about-face and walk in the opposite direction. You spend hours or days - maybe longer - trying to figure out what you did to warrant being ignored, or worse being rejected. This really hurts when that other person is someone you thought liked you, accepted you, and maybe even ideally