How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #2), DeYtH Banger, Clive Cooper [i read book TXT] 📗

respected you.

 

Nani Nani Boo Boo

 

We've read stories such as Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter about people being shunned in centuries past by communities for what were considered having behaved immorally. In the past several decades, we've expanded this type of rejection to the fine, negative science of avoidance; one that can be upsetting and hurtful to the recipient. For most, we get our first taste of shunning in grade school. You know the scenario, a group of friends decides that some kid in the group just doesn't fit in, too fat, too ugly, too poor, too smart, too nerdy, too whatever, and the shunning begins. Unfortunately, this behavior continues for many well into adulthood. When it becomes evident that the shunning is directed at just you, it is like Silent Bullying.

 

Enduring Damage

 

From a psychological standpoint, the act of shunning is social or mental rejection. Why do people shun others? Here are some reasons, instances, forms of shunning and the damage done:

 

• Embarrassment – You recently had a party that the other person knew about but wasn't invited to and you don’t want to talk about it. You see them at the mall and dart into a store.

The person wonders what’s wrong with them.

• Shame – You left your job for another one and told your new employer confidential info about your former employer. Now you shun your former employer and former co-workers because you know what you did was unethical.

Your formers speculate what happened and may eventually lose respect for you.

• Jealousy– You are resentful about the progress made by someone in your field and have found your passive-aggressive behavior toward the person isn't working. So you shun them instead.

The person and others notice your behavior which reflects poorly on you.

• Annoyance – You just don’t like the person – they irritate you and don’t pick up on your signals. You don’t attend events you know they are invited to and shun them if you happen to be in the same room.

The person: a) may think they did something wrong, b) experiences a plummet in self esteemand/or c) may think you have a personality flaw.

• Racial or cultural bias – You have a negative bias towards cultures other than yours. You shun those whom you think are of those stigmatized races or cultures.

You offend others and miss out on rich opportunities to learn from individuals you may actually enjoy as well as their cultures.

• Poor timing – You just don’t have the time to talk.

The person thinks: a) you are a snob, b) you are blind or oblivious and/or c) don’t care about them.

• Shyness – You are painfully shy and shun just about everybody—when down deep you want and need that social connection.

You miss out on rich opportunities.

 

Take Control – Of Yourself

 

If you tend to shun people but want to give it up, start by putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Compassion and communication work wonders. For instance, in the party scenario, instead of darting into a store, meet the person head on and explain what happened; you are sorry that you could only invite a limited number of people. That’s an acceptable explanation. If you don’t have time to talk, don’t turn away, be civil to the person who wants to chat and explain you are on a tight time schedule. They will understand. If you are shy, annoyed by others, or culturally biased, a simple “Hi! Nice to see you”, works - and keep moving. By acknowledging the other person, even for a moment, you validate them and do no harm to their self esteem.

 

The two work-related examples are more complicated – the damage may be irreparable. Make a vow to handle situations better in the future.

 

If you believe you have been shunned intentionally, you have two options: hold your head up high, move on, Don’t waste time trying to figure out what you may have done to create the situation. Or, bite the bullet and have a “courageous conversation” with that person, simply saying that you feel he or she is avoiding you and you wonder why. That way you have closure, and it may be that you learn something valuable about yourself or the shunner.

 

What Phil did When Shunned

 

This is what Phil did to solve the social puzzle he experienced when his family moved from New York City to North Hollywood, California, way back when he was in high school. He had always been a really popular kid, liked, admired not only for smarts and leadership skills but also for his athletic abilities in baseball and track. But from the very first day in this new school, he was totally and brutally SHUNNED! Meaning classmates would not sit next to him, they would all move away from wherever he sat in the cafeteria or auditorium. This total social exclusion hurt so deeply that he developed severe asthma, bad enough that he would have to stay home when he had not been able to sleep at all. (Obviously a psycho-somatic coping mechanism.) In the spring, after making the baseball team, on a bus ride to a game, Phil had to know the Why of his shunning. So he simply asked a teammate, what had he done wrong to deserve such social abuse. The answer was startling: “ A lot of kids are afraid of you, because they think your family must be from the East Coast Mafia, since you are Italian - the only one in our school - so it’s better to avoid you than takes any chances angering you.” NOT SO!! But it no longer mattered; his asthma became the reason the family all moved back to the Bronx, and as you might suspect, his dreaded asthma vanished shortly thereafter. And he was voted most popular boy in the senior class at James Monroe High School the very next term !

 

 

So forgive and forget the shunners, while making more time for all the people who love you unconditionally, and whom you can love fully in return.

 

 

 

 

What Causes People to Drink Too Much Alcohol?

 

 

 

When you drink too much alcohol it can cause problems with your liver and make you do things that you will likely regret. There are a few common reasons why someone might drink too much alcohol.

 

Friends

 

Many people consume too much alcohol because of pressure from friends to continue drinking.

 

Compulsion

 

An alcoholic will consume too much alcohol because he has a compulsion to drink and his body is dependent on the alcohol.

 

Depression

 

When a person is depressed, she may drink too much alcohol to cope with her emotional problems.

 

Inhibitions

 

Some people drink excessively as a way to lose all inhibitions and build up the confidence to do things that they would not normally do when sober.

 

Genetics

 

Research by the Human Genome Project has shown that the tendency to drink too much alcohol may be genetic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 6.1 - Truth (Part 2)

 

People say that they use tobacco for many different reasons—like stress relief, pleasure, or in social situations. One of the first steps to quitting is to learn why you feel like using tobacco. Then you can think about the reasons you want to quit.

 

 

Here are some common reasons why people say they smoke.

 

Addiction

 

Nicotine is the main addictive substance in cigarettes and other forms of tobacco. Nicotine is a drug that affects many parts of your body, including your brain. Over time, your body and brain get used to having nicotine in them. About 80–90% of people who smoke regularly are addicted to nicotine.

Nicotine reaches your brain within 10 seconds of when it enters your body. It causes the brain to release adrenaline, and that creates a buzz of pleasure and energy. The buzz quickly fades, though. Then you may feel tired or a little down—and you may want that buzz again.

Your body is able to build up a high tolerance to nicotine, so you’ll need to smoke more cigarettes to get that same buzz. This up and down cycle happens over and over. That’s what leads to addiction.

 

When people don’t smoke, they may have withdrawal symptoms. That’s because their bodies have to get used to not having nicotine. Withdrawal symptoms may include:

 

Feeling down or sad Having trouble sleeping Feeling irritable‚ on edge‚ grouchy Having trouble thinking clearly and concentrating Feeling restless and jumpy Slower heart rate Feeling more hungry or gaining weight

 

Learn more about nicotine withdrawal. Medication called nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) can help reduce cravings and withdrawal symptoms. Your VA health care provider can give you a prescription for NRT. It’s also available without a prescription from your local pharmacy.

 

Addiction is the main reason people smoke, but it’s not the only reason.

 

Replace smoking with other behaviors. Distract yourself and keep your hands busy. Try a new hobby, chew gum, sip on water, or exercise!

 

 

Patterns

 

Smoking can become connected to other activities of your day-to-day life—like watching TV, talking on the phone, hanging out with friends, going certain places, or taking a break to relax. Then smoking becomes a part of a pattern or routine.

But you can get help to stop the routine. In-person counseling or talking with a counselor over the telephone can teach you how to break the link between smoking and your daily activities. Ask for help to create new patterns.

 

Emotions

 

Many people smoke because it’s a way they’ve learned to cope with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms, negative moods, and the stress of daily life. There are ways to deal with emotions without smoking. Counseling can teach you ways to cope, and getting support from loved ones can help, too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note: The shit starts... from selling your body... from somebody wanting to kill you... from cops lurking around your apartment...


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I am just joking with the few last parts... so let's clear the shit

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It starts from stress and depression... to relief it... you use cigar... you say you are not addicted... but you are... boring... is a simple excuse... just to go and boost your mind...


Alcohol and the same here case!

 

 

 

 

Tobacco Use and Other Health Issues

 

 

 

 

Smoking affects everyone’s health. But if you have other health issues, smoking can affect you even more. That’s especially true if you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), HIV, depression, or substance use disorders (SUD).

 

 

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

 

Dealing with PTSD is hard. But did you know that smoking actually makes PTSD symptoms worse? It also makes recovery harder.

Think about the goals of your PTSD treatment. How does smoking keep you from reaching those goals?

You can use the same skills to manage your PTSD symptoms and deal with nicotine cravings.

 

HIV

 

Research shows that people with HIV are two to three times more likely to be smokers than people who don’t have HIV. Smoking is tough on the body, and that’s especially true for people with HIV. They are more likely to get sick more frequently.

Smokers who have HIV face the same tobacco-related health risks as other smokers—like cancer, cardiac disease, stroke, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. 

 

Plus, people with HIV who smoke have an increased risk of respiratory tract infections, including acute bronchitis, bacterial pneumonia, and tuberculosis. The risk of pneumocystis pneumonia—a serious infection common among people with HIV—is increased by smoking.

Smoking can affect the metabolism and effectiveness of some medications that are used to treat HIV. So they might not work as well as they should to keep the HIV virus under control. This may cause a faster progression from HIV to AIDS.

Overall, people with HIV who smoke have a shorter life expectancy than people with HIV who don’t smoke. Thinking about quitting? Build your quit plan.

 

When you quit