Malignant Self Love, Samuel Vaknin [reading tree txt] 📗
- Author: Samuel Vaknin
- Performer: -
Book online «Malignant Self Love, Samuel Vaknin [reading tree txt] 📗». Author Samuel Vaknin
his habits and, therefore, by definition, can only rarely and with an
incredible amount of exertion, change them. And, in the long-term, he
is incapable of living because life is a struggle TOWARDS, a striving,
a drive AT something. In other words: life is change. He who cannot
change is not really alive.
“Malignant Self-Love - Narcissism Revisited” was written under extreme
conditions of duress. It was composed in jail as I was trying to
understand what had hit me. My nine years old marriage dissolved, my
finances were in a shocking condition, my family estranged, my
reputation ruined, my personal freedom severely curtailed. Slowly, the
realisation that it was all my fault, that I was sick and needed help
penetrated the decades old defences that I erected around me. This book
is the documentation of a road of self-discovery. It was a painful
process, which led to nowhere. I am no different - and no healthier -
today than I was when I wrote this book. My disorder is here to stay,
the prognosis is poor and alarming.
The narcissist is an actor in a monodrama, yet forced to remain behind
the scenes. The scenes take centre stage, instead. The narcissist does
not cater at all to his own needs. Contrary to his reputation, the
narcissist does not “love” himself in any true sense of this loaded
word.
He feeds off other people, who hurl back at him an image that he
projects to them. This is their sole function in his world: to reflect,
to admire, to applaud, to detest - in a word, to assure him that he
exists.
Otherwise, they have no right to tax his time, energy, or emotions - so
he feels.
To borrow Freud’s trilateral model, the narcissist’s Ego is weak,
disorganised and lacks clear boundaries. Many of the Ego functions are
projected. The Superego is sadistic and punishing. The Id is
unrestrained.
Primary Objects in the narcissist’s childhood were badly idealised and
internalised.
His object relations are distraught and destroyed.
The first chapters offer a detailed, first hand account of what it is
like to have a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It offers new
insights and an organised methodological framework using a new
psychodynamic language. It is intended for professionals.
The first part of the book is more accessible. It comprises 99
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) regarding narcissism and personality
disorders. The posting of “Malignant Self-Love - Narcissism Revisited”
on the Web has elicited a flood of excited, sad and heart rending
responses, mostly from victims of narcissists but also from people
suffering from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder. This is a true
picture of the resulting correspondence with them.
This book is heavy reading. It is not intended to please or to
entertain. NPD is a pernicious, vile and tortuous disease, which
affects not only the narcissist. It infects and forever changes people
who are in daily contact with the narcissist. In other words: it is
contagious. It is my contention that narcissism is the mental epidemic
of the twentieth century, a plague to be fought by all means.
This book is my contribution to minimising the damages of this disorder.
Sam Vaknin
Malignant
Self Love
Narcissism Revisited
The Narcissistic Personality Disorder
A Primer on Narcissism
Narcissism (n. sing.)
A pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and
obsession with one’s self to the exclusion of all others and the
egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one’s gratification, dominance and
ambition.
Narcissism is named after the ancient Greek myth of Narcissus, a
handsome Greek youth who rejected the desperate advances of the nymph
Echo. In punishment of his cruelty, he was doomed to fall in love with
his own reflection in a pool of water. Unable to consummate his
autoerotic love, he pined away and changed into the flower that bears
his name to this very day.
What is NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?
The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has been recognised as a
separate mental health disorder in the third edition of the Diagnostic
and Statistics Manual (DSM) in 1980. Its diagnostic criteria and their
interpretation have undergone a major revision in the DSM-III-R [1987]
and were substantially revamped in the DSM-IV-TR in 2000. The European
ICD-10 basically contains identical language.
An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need
for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning by
early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of the
following criteria must be met:
_ Feels grandiose and self-importance (e.g., exaggerates
achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be
recognised as superior without commensurate achievements);
_ Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome
power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist),
bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal,
everlasting, all-conquering love or passion;
_ Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special,
can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate
with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions);
_ Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and
affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious
(Narcissistic Supply);
_ Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favourable
priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or
her expectations;
_ Is “interpersonally exploitative”, i.e., uses others to achieve
his or her own ends;
_ Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or
acknowledge the feelings and needs of others;
_ Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the
same about him or her;
_ Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage
when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted.
The language in the criteria above is based on or summarised from:
American Psychiatric Association. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders: DSM-IV-TR, Washington [2000]
Vaknin, Sam. Malignant Self-Love - Narcissism Revisited. Revised ed.
Prague and Skopje, Narcissus Publications [1999, 2001, 2003]
More Data About Pathological Narcissists
_ Most narcissists (75%) are men.
_ NPD (=the Narcissistic Personality Disorder) is one of a
“family” of personality disorders (formerly known as “Cluster B”).
Other members: Borderline PD, Antisocial PD and Histrionic PD.
_ NPD is often diagnosed with other mental health disorders
(“co-morbidity”) - or with substance abuse, or impulsive and reckless
behaviours (“dual diagnosis”).
_ NPD is new [1980] mental health category in the Diagnostic and
Statistics Manual (DSM).
_ There is only scant research regarding narcissism. But what
there is has not demonstrated any ethnic, social, cultural, economic,
genetic, or professional predilection to NPD.
_ It is estimated that 0.7-1% of the general population suffer
from NPD.
_ Pathological narcissism was first described in detail by Freud.
Other major contributors are: Klein, Horney, Kohut, Kernberg, Millon,
Roningstam, Gunderson, Hare.
_ The onset of narcissism is in infancy, childhood and early
adolescence. It is commonly attributed to childhood abuse and trauma
inflicted by parents, authority figures, or even peers.
_ There is a whole range of narcissistic reactions - from the
mild, reactive and transient to the permanent personality disorder.
_ Narcissists are either “cerebral” (derive their Narcissistic
Supply from their intelligence or academic achievements) - or “somatic”
(derive their Narcissistic Supply from their physique, exercise,
physical or sexual prowess and “conquests”).
_ Narcissists are either “classic” - see definition below - or
they are “compensatory”, or “inverted” - see definitions in FAQ 49: The
Inverted Narcissist.
_ NPD is treated by talk therapy (psychodynamic or
cognitive-behavioural). The prognosis for an adult narcissist is poor,
though his adaptation to life and to others can improve with treatment.
Medication is applied to side effects and behaviours (such as mood or
affect disorders and obsession-compulsion) - usually with some success.
Bibliography
1. Alford, C. Fred. Narcissism: Socrates, the Frankfurt School and
Psychoanalytic Theory. New Haven and London, Yale University Press, 1988
2. Devereux, George. Basic Problems of Ethno-Psychiatry.
University of Chicago Press, 1980
3. Fairbairn, W. R. D. An Object Relations Theory of the
Personality. New York, Basic Books, 1954
4. Freud S. Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality [1905].
Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud.
Vol. 7. London, Hogarth Press, 1964
5. Freud, S. On Narcissism. Standard Ed. Vol. 14, pp. 73-107
6. Goldman, Howard H. (Ed.). Review of General Psychiatry. 4th Ed.
London, Prentice Hall International, 1995
7. Golomb, Elan. Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of
Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self. Quill, 1995
8. Greenberg, Jay R. and Mitchell, Stephen A. Object Relations in
Psychoanalytic Theory. Cambridge, Mass., Harvard University Press, 1983
9. Grunberger, Bela. Narcissism: Psychoanalytic Essays. New York,
International Universities Press, 1979
10. Guntrip, Harry. Personality Structure and Human Interaction.
New York, International Universities Press, 1961
11. Horowitz M. J. Sliding Meanings: A Defence against Threat in
Narcissistic Personalities. International Journal of Psychoanalytic
Psychotherapy, 1975; 4:167
12. Horovitz M. J. Stress Response Syndromes: PTSD, Grief and
Adjustment Disorders. 3rd Ed. New York, NY University Press, 1998
13. Jacobson, Edith. The Self and the Object World. New York,
International Universities Press, 1964
14. Jung, C.G. Collected Works. G. Adler, M. Fordham and H. Read
(Eds.). 21 volumes. Princeton University Press, 1960-1983
15. Kernberg O. Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism.
New York, Jason Aronson, 1975
16. Klein, Melanie. The Writings of Melanie Klein. Roger
Money-Kyrle (Ed.). 4 Vols. New York, Free Press, 1964-75
17. Kohut H. The Chicago Institute Lectures 1972-1976. Marian and
Paul Tolpin (Eds.). Analytic Press, 1998
18. Kohut M. The Analysis of the Self. New York, International
Universities Press, 1971
19. Lasch, Christopher. The Culture of Narcissism. New York, Warner
Books, 1979
20. Levine, J. D., and Weiss, Rona H. The Dynamics and Treatment of
Alcoholism. Jason Aronson, 1994
21. Lowen, Alexander. Narcissism: Denial of the True Self.
Touchstone Books, 1997
22. Millon, Theodore (and Roger D. Davis, contributor). Disorders
of Personality: DSM-IV and Beyond. 2nd ed. New York, John Wiley and
Sons, 1995
23. Millon, Theodore. Personality Disorders in Modern Life. New
York, John Wiley and Sons, 2000
24. Riso, Don Richard. Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for
Self-Discovery. Boston: Houghton Mifflin 1987
25. Roningstam, Elsa F. (Ed.). Disorders of Narcissism: Diagnostic,
Clinical, and Empirical Implications. American Psychiatric Press, 1998
26. Rothstein, Arnold. The Narcissistic Pursuit of Reflection. 2nd
revised Ed. New York, International Universities Press, 1984
27. Schwartz, Lester. Narcissistic Personality Disorders - A
Clinical Discussion. Journal of American Psychoanalytic Association -
22 [1974]: 292-305
28. Salant-Schwartz, Nathan. Narcissism and Character
Transformation. Inner City Books, 1985 - pp. 90-91
29. Stern, Daniel. The Interpersonal World of the Infant: A View
from Psychoanalysis and Developmental Psychology. New York, Basic
Books, 1985
30. Vaknin, Sam. Malignant Self-Love - Narcissism Revisited. Skopje
and Prague, Narcissus Publications, 1999, 2001, 2003
31. Zweig, Paul. The Heresy of Self-Love: A Study of Subversive
Individualism. New York, Basic Books, 1968
Malignant
Self Love
Narcissism Revisited
Overview
This section contains professional terms.
For treatment of specific issues go to the
Frequently Asked Questions.
The Soul of a Narcissist
The State of the Art
We all love ourselves. That seems to be such an instinctively true
statement that we do not bother to examine it more thoroughly. In our
daily lives - in love, in business, in other areas of life - we act on
this premise. Yet, upon closer inspection, it looks shakier.
Some people explicitly state that they do not love themselves at all.
Others confine their lack of self-love to certain traits,
Comments (0)