Malignant Self Love, Samuel Vaknin [reading tree txt] 📗

Chapter V: The Tortured Self

Chapter VI: The Emotional Involvement Preventive Measures

 

Frequently Asked Questions

 

Narcissism - The Disorder

 

FAQ # 1: An Overview of the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 2: Pathological Narcissism - A Dysfunction or a Blessing?

 

FAQ # 3: The Energy of Self

 

FAQ # 4: Self-Love and Narcissism

 

FAQ # 5: Self-Defeating and Self-Destructive Behaviours

 

FAQ # 6: Ideas of Reference

 

FAQ # 7: Grandiose Fantasies

 

FAQ # 8: Grandiosity Hangover and Narcissist Baiting

 

FAQ # 9: Depression and the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 10: Narcissistic Rage

 

(Anger as a Source of Personality Disorder)

 

FAQ # 11: Gender and the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 12: Homosexual Narcissist

 

FAQ # 13: Addiction to Fame and Celebrity

 

FAQ # 14: Conspicuous Existence

 

FAQ # 15: The Narcissist’s Reaction to Deficient Narcissistic

Supply

 

FAQ # 16: The Delusional Way Out

 

FAQ # 17: The Compulsive Acts of the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 18: Narcissistic Routines

 

FAQ # 19: The Unstable Narcissist

 

FAQ # 20: Do Narcissists Have Emotions?

 

FAQ # 21: The Inappropriate Affect

 

FAQ # 22: The Cynical Narcissist

 

FAQ # 23: The Narcissist as a Sadist

 

FAQ # 24: Other People’s Pain

 

FAQ # 25: Multiple Grandiosity

 

FAQ # 26: False Modesty

 

FAQ # 27: Warped Reality and Retroactive Emotional Content

 

FAQ # 28: Narcissistic Signal, Stimulus and Hibernation

Mini-Cycles

 

FAQ # 29: The Narcissistic Pendulum and the Pathological

Narcissistic Space

 

FAQ # 30: The Inanimate as a Source of Narcissistic Supply

 

(Narcissistic Branding and Narcissistic Contagion)

 

FAQ # 31: The Dual Role of the False Self

 

FAQ # 32: The Stripped Ego

 

FAQ # 33: The Split-off Ego

 

FAQ # 34: The Serious Narcissist

 

FAQ # 35: Narcissists, Disagreements and Criticism

 

FAQ # 36: Transformations of Aggression

 

FAQ # 37: Narcissistic Humiliation

 

FAQ # 38: The Midlife Narcissist

 

FAQ # 39: To Age with Grace

 

FAQ # 40: The Narcissist and Introspection

 

FAQ # 41: The Losses of the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 42: Getting Better

 

FAQ # 43: Can a Narcissist Help Himself?

 

FAQ # 44: Reconditioning the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 45: Treatment Modalities and Therapies

 

FAQ # 46: Narcissistic Mirroring

 

FAQ # 47: The Development of the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 48: The Narcissist’s Mother

 

FAQ # 49: The Inverted Narcissist

 

FAQ # 50: Narcissists, Inverted Narcissists and Schizoids

 

FAQ # 51: Narcissists and Chemical Imbalances

 

FAQ # 52: Myths about Narcissism

 

FAQ # 53: The Selfish Gene

 

(The Genetic Underpinnings of Narcissism)

 

FAQ # 54: Narcissism - The Psychopathological Default

 

FAQ # 55: Narcissism with Other Mental Health Disorders

 

(Co-Morbidity and Dual Diagnosis)

 

FAQ # 56: Eating Disorders and the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 57: Can the Narcissist Have a Meaningful Life?

 

FAQ # 58: A Case Study

 

FAQ # 59: The Narcissist’s Reactions to This Text

 

Narcissism and Society

 

FAQ # 60: A Dream Interpreted

 

FAQ # 61: How to Recognise a Narcissist?

 

FAQ # 62: Interacting with a Narcissist

 

FAQ # 63: The Weapon of Language

 

FAQ # 64: Exploitation by a Narcissist

 

FAQ # 65: The Narcissist’s Victims

 

FAQ # 66: Narcissism by Proxy

 

FAQ # 67: Narcissists in Positions of Authority

 

FAQ # 68: For the Love of God

 

FAQ # 69: The Narcissist and Social Institutions

 

FAQ # 70: Collective Narcissism (Narcissism, Culture and Society)

 

FAQ # 71: The Narcissist in Court

 

FAQ # 72: The Narcissist in a Workplace

 

FAQ # 73: Responsibility and Other Matters

 

FAQ # 74: The Accountable Narcissist

 

FAQ # 75: Crime and Punishment: The Never Repenting Narcissist

 

FAQ # 76: Narcissists, Group Behaviour and Terrorism

 

FAQ # 77: Is the Narcissist Ever Sorry?

 

FAQ # 78: A Letter about Trust

 

FAQ # 79: The Guilt of Others

 

FAQ # 80: Narcissistic Confinement

 

FAQ # 81: Narcissistic Allocation

 

FAQ # 82: Narcissistic Immunity

 

FAQ # 83: Narcissists, Love and Healing

 

FAQ # 84: Vindictive Narcissists

 

FAQ # 85: Narcissists as Mass and Serial Killers

 

FAQ # 86: Narcissists, Narcissistic Supply and Sources of Supply

 

Narcissists and Family

 

FAQ # 87: How to Cope with a Narcissist?

 

FAQ # 88: Narcissists and Women

 

FAQ # 89: The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 90: Investing in a Narcissist

 

FAQ # 91: The Double Reflection

 

(Narcissistic Couples and Narcissistic Types)

 

FAQ # 92: Narcissistic Parents

 

FAQ # 93: Narcissists and Children

 

FAQ # 94: The Narcissist and His Family

 

FAQ # 95: Narcissists, Sex and Fidelity

 

FAQ # 96: The Extra-Marital Narcissist

 

FAQ # 97: Mourning the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 98: Surviving the Narcissist

 

FAQ # 99: The Dead Parents

 

The Author

 

Online index

 

Go here: http://samvak.tripod.com/siteindex.html

 

F O R E W O R D

 

Hello. Recognise me? No? Well, you see me all the time. You read my

books, watch me on the big screen, feast on my art, cheer at my games,

use my inventions, vote me into office, follow me into battle, take

notes at my lectures, laugh at my jokes, marvel at my successes, admire

my appearance, listen to my stories, discuss my politics, enjoy my

music, excuse my faults, envy me my blessings. No? Still doesn’t ring a

bell? Well, you have seen me. Of that I am positive. In fact, if there

is one thing I am absolutely sure of, it is that. You have seen me.

 

Perhaps our paths crossed more privately. Perhaps I am the one who came

along and built you up when you were down, employed you when you were

out of a job, showed the way when you were lost, offered confidence

when you were doubting, made you laugh when you were blue, sparked your

interest when you were bored, listened to you and understood, saw you

for what you really are, felt your pain and found the answers, made you

want to be alive. Of course you recognise me. I am your inspiration,

your role model, your saviour, your leader, your best friend, the one

you aspire to emulate, the one whose favour makes you glow.

 

But I can also be your worst nightmare. First I build you up because

that’s what you need. Your skies are blue. Then, out of the blue, I

start tearing you down. You let me do it because that’s what you are

used to and you are dumfounded. I was wrong to take pity on you. You

really are incompetent, disrespectful, untrustworthy, immoral,

ignorant, inept, egotistical, constrained, disgusting. You are a social

embarrassment, an unappreciative partner, an inadequate parent, a

disappointment, a sexual flop, a financial liability. I tell you this

to your face. I must. It is my right, because it is. I behave, at home

and away, any way I want to, with total disregard for conventions,

mores, or the feelings of others. It is my right, because it is.

 

I lie to your face, without a twitch or a twitter, and there is

absolutely nothing you can do about it. In fact, my lies are not lies

at all. They are the truth, my truth. And you believe them, because you

do, because they do not sound or feel like lies, because to do

otherwise would make you question your own sanity, which you have a

tendency to do anyway, because from the very beginning of our

relationship you placed your trust and hopes in me, derived your energy

from me, gave me power over you.

 

Run to our friends. Go. See what that will get you. Ridicule. I am to

them what I originally was to you. They believe what they see and

that’s what they see, and they also see the very mixed up person that

you obviously have become. The more you plead for understanding, the

more convinced they will be that you are crazy, the more isolated you

will feel, and the harder you will try to make things right again, by

accepting my criticisms and by striving to improve yourself. Could it

be that you were wrong about me in